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My Fish My Life
simple isn't it

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scattered pieces
         clashing paint shiny


burnt rubber hell
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I found God on the internet today
hush little baby don't you cry
i forgot what i was going to ask
hush little baby don't you cry
was it life or love or fear
hush little baby don't you cry
i'm glad i found you
hush little baby don't you cry
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triple chocolate cherry
atopa soft sweet bun 
sugar plum and fairy
carmel drips and runs
icing cake and candy
topped with whipped delight
smothered lemon crisps 
sprinkled with delight
lick and suck and smack
around the top and back
roll eyes and flicker tounge
we are forever young
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bleached bone of birth
 cacoon of creation cracked
dimpled texture tested
empty life
discarded pain
open wound 
chipped broken outward
forgotten wasted
lost
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do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
do the same thing
expect a different result
repeat often until well baked then put it in the freezer for a lifetime
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The Japanese and German s lookaed at amazement at the cheap toys. the green glassine trees crumbled at the touch. laughing and touching the damaged toys they moved through the mall admiring all that proctor and gamble had brought them. The valley was lined with neat office condos and the P and G employees were filing back to work after lunch laughing and talking as so many high school kids. The receptionist parked her desk out in front of the building. It was a nice day and she greeted the returning employees while having them sign a document.
 
 I was being dragged through the oklahoma soil and the spurs left a long gouge in the sandy red dirt. You just cant hide out in these parts any more. there wont be any jet skiing today Ma. The paved trail next to the muddy ravine was difficult to navigate in the car. the black top was tilted and cracked. The dirt had washed over several sections and the tires were wider than the trail. It felt as if any minute we would slip off and roll into the shallow ravine. we wound our way carefully to the end of the trail.

The ancient creek was beautiful in the noon day sun. It had carved a path for millenia thrugh solid granite. The surface af the water was like glass and i jumped in. the creek was wide over 150 feet. and deep several deep pools were strung like giant pearls along its length filled with crystal clear water that descended to over 100 feet deep. Schools of fish swam in the glass pools. and as i swam over head of them i dipped my head under the water and enterd a a perfect world. the granite walls of the creek descended to the sandy bottom far below. instantly i felt a sense of vertigo. i was flying ..floating and in the bright clear water had entered a new world. i dived and chased the fish. some were quite large over six feet long and i avoided them. My testicles recoiled with a primal ache that this was not my world.

I was pleasamtly suprised to learn that the heart has neural ganglia also known as brain tissue. this now means that our hearts can think for themselve independently from our cerebrum. poets and spiritual leaders have taught us this for millenia. "Adultery begins in the heart" " the heart of a man determines his actions" How can an organ independent of our higher reasoning and our reflexive actions control us? what does this add to our understanding of a "broken heart" and "heart disease". Christ spoke "keep thy heart with all diligence for out of it come all the issues of life" Is it "just an organ that beats with an automatic reflex" or is it something that controls us? How do we teach the heart. What is the launguage of the heart? what is "heart felt"?

addiction science has proven that ou entire body has a cellular memory of drug use. it is not just a thought but the entire organism is alive with the memory of the last "fix". Yoga and other physical disciplines such as rolfing teach that our bodys hold memories sometimes with unpleasant results such as "a knot in the stomach". I hold my stress in the shoulders and between my shoulder blades. I used to hold stress in my lower back. repeated visits to chiropractors did not fix it. I found a lot of relief in massage therapy. I became a junkie of massage. i have been to 50 - 80 seperate therapist over the years and have had quite a variety of results. some put me to sleep with a calm and secure touch. some aroused me greatly some felt like a vampire sucking energy at every stroke. Our bodies are alive with the energy of our intents and the heart leads the way. we impact ourselves and others not just with our attitudes but with our posture our prescence and our energy.

bodily health is much more than a toned and lean physique. the heart rules here also. The trained athelete without a moral compass is a commanding figure. often exerting control and power while destroying the lives it touches. vain and selfish thought corrupt the dense muscle tissues with a callouse that continues to harden with repeated use. A trained smile cannot conceal a motive forever.
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fever pitch 
body shake 
innefective thoughts
aware not awake
running a fever
symptoms beware
hiding in bed
feeling the stare
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paperclips toothpicks dust dirt and pennies
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wrench it from my cold dead hand
broken arrows in the sand
a dream in dust blows fiercely by
forgotten name hangs in the sky
passion wasted unfulfilled
taken by a bitter pill
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venom sweet
toxic candy
waves and nods
vipers sway
cold calculation
with icing and cake
finds you fascinating
curls up next to you
heart tissue blackens
it tasted so sweet
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celloman100
Name: celloman100
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